If there's one thing I hate it's the idea that my anxiety and depression can get the best of me. In this case it nearly kept me from seeing, quite possibly Daniel Craig's last turn as James Bond in which, spoiler alert he walks away from the 00 program for the girl.
And while I believed he loved her enough to do it the moment they say goodbye to one another is completely plot driven. Not character driven. And is a hollow and complete and utter bullshit moment in the film.
But that's not really why I'm writing this post. It was a durable Bond film installment. And for the most part I liked it. However it's no Skyfall which is probably my biggest knock on it. And the fact the women aren't written for properly. But Monica Bellucci knocked it out of the park with her brief time on the screen.
The last time I went to the movies was to see the Martian. I had a full blown anxiety attack. The walls closed in. My body tightened up and I started to cry. And the was all before I went inside.
But I'd wanted to see SPECTRE for a long time. I put it off Monday because I was suffering a setback professionally and wanted to wallow in it for a moment.
Yesterday was different though.
I was ready to see the movie. As much as I fight going (thanks to the recent movie theater shootings) I'm always happy I went after all.
It makes me mad that the world has intruded upon my sanctuary and made things difficult to fill my coffers and pour water in the creative well that makes things easier to write the next great story. Well at least fun one for me to pen.
No one in my stories have yet to have a reason to walk away from their darker sides in the name of love. They may have sought redemption. As I sought out the movie theater for a chance to go to the movie theater and reclaim my sanctuary.
And while I had some trepidation and some tears it was nothing like the Martian.
After all my muse was awaiting my arrival. So to speak.
I came. I saw. And thanks to Daniel's work I conquered the anxiety, if only for a little while. And reclaimed my life.
